It feels different in the dark

“Its brighter when the lights are off”

Today is officially my first day…i'm considering. Start of the week, a monday. Being a stereotypical modern adolescent. I feel so used to the life I was living back in Bangalore. Its 7:30 pm now and its dark outside. I was just thinking that i didn't look outside the window as much. I have been sitting on this jugaad workspace i set up with a garden chair and ironing board. I started working on my website, paid a bunch of thousands today morning for the same. I realised i am still so engrossed into what iam doing on my laptop that it didn't make a difference if were in Kashmir or Koramangala. My body and mind felt habituated to this position and vibe of the work environment. I couldn't move my eyes of the screen, working on the website, listening to songs, i mean there are so many birds, insects and fresh breeze flowing outside. But i chose to play the same old songs. Now it is dark outside.

My windows back in bangalore peeped into city traffic, gossipping people, traffic noise and vehicle horns. Now it has transformed into brick walled, peacefully lone standing house, mountains, green and greener fields, apple trees, birds(Har mostly (Maina)). But what difference does it make when my headspace is still stuck in the past. I mean its inevitable to change so fast but i just finished a beautiful trek (Tarsar-Marsar) 2 days back. We gotta trick our minds sometime Now it's dark outside.

I remember seeing an old aged man, around 60’s working on the field, standing out in his white shirt among the bright flowy-green fields. A mid-aged aunty with her head covered in her dupatta carrying covers with something filled in them entered from my POV and escaped within a few minutes, she must have been in a hurry. Now it's dark outside.

Now it's dark everywhere, i am sitting in darkness writing for a long time. Feels like i can write again. The only light here is shining from the flat screen in front of me. Its black all around the room, house, garden except for here. Life feels brighter now, feels like a new beginning, feels like relief, feels like something new. I gotta run now to wash my clothes and the dishes before Faiyaz uncle arrives. Feels different, feels playful, feeling like a child honestly.

From tiled bland floor to carpeted motif floor

From sounds of vehicles to those of Mainas

From climbing stairs to climbing mountains

From thought of working for a startup to thoughts of meeting new and newer people

From neighbours to strangers

From anna-sambar to rogan josh

From filling 100rs petrol to 40rs share cab

From sleeping under 100 stars to sleeping under 100000000 stars

It feels different

“If you put the light, it looks darker”

~ Daraab Saleem Abbasi